


Don't Be Afraid, You're Already Dead

by sabers



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Angst, M/M, Mourning, ep vii spoilers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-11
Updated: 2016-07-11
Packaged: 2018-07-22 22:17:44
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 386
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7455958
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sabers/pseuds/sabers
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Luke copes with loss, all alone.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Don't Be Afraid, You're Already Dead

As Han feels his son’s saber puncture his chest, pain searing through his body, Han’s mind conjures up the most punishing feeling of regret. The lightsaber retracts from his chest, and Han’s first instinct is to touch his son, one last time, placing his hand against Kylo Ren’s cheek. 

_I never got to say goodbye,_ was Han’s last coherent thought before plunging into the pit towards the center Starkiller Base.

In his last moments of consciousness, Han could feel the crippling emotions of those closest to him as they reacted to the ripple in the Force than Han’s death created. 

\---

Luke’s body was shaking as he felt a sudden pain through the force. He gets down on his knees, covering his mouth with his hand as tears threaten to fall from his eyes. 

_It couldn’t be,_ Luke begs, _that couldn’t have been Han._

With that thought, Luke fully breaks down, tears flowing from his eyes as he begs whatever gods are out there to bring Han back. His fists hit the earth as the emotion takes over his body. He shakes and cries pathetically, his body curled up against the ground. 

_I never got to say goodbye or apologize,_ he thinks, his hands shaking as they rest on the dirt. _I never got to see him again, it’s been ten years…_

The conclusion of that thought leads to more crying, his mouth agape in agony and pain. He presses his forehead against the soil, crying louder with every passing thought. 

He remembers their first kiss after the awards ceremony following the Battle of Yavin, he remembers their first time under the humming lights of the Millennium Falcon’s bedroom unit, he remembers when they broke up before he had to save him from the harsh cold of Hoth, he remembers seeing Ben Solo for the first time and being an uncle, he remembers being screamed at by Han after Ben had gone rouge under the control of Snoke and fleeing as a result, and now he remembers-

He lets out a soul-crushing scream, his mind completely wracked with agony. He couldn’t believe Han was gone, and he’d never see him again. 

Even after he had finished crying, it took all the strength in the world to stand back up again. 

Luke’s world felt hollow without Han Solo.

**Author's Note:**

> this is a vent fic, again. i love watching my otps suffer, especially when said suffering is canon.   
> got a request? want to see future work? follow me on tumblr at retrosaber.tumblr.com


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